Have you ever tried to have a conversation with someone, but they just shut down and refuse to engage? This frustrating behavior is known as stonewalling, and it can leave you feeling helpless and unheard. Whether it’s in your personal or professional relationships, stonewalling can be detrimental to communication and lead to misunderstandings. In this blog post, we’ll dive into what stonewalling is, the different types of stonewalling behaviors, why people do it, and most importantly – how to deal with it effectively. So buckle up and get ready to learn some valuable skills for handling difficult conversations!
What is stonewalling?
Stonewalling is a communication behavior that happens when one person shuts down or withdraws from a conversation in response to feeling overwhelmed, angry, hurt, or frustrated. It can be both verbal and nonverbal cues such as avoiding eye contact, crossing arms, giving the silent treatment, walking away mid-conversation.
When someone is stonewalling you, it feels like your message isn’t being heard and your feelings aren’t being taken into consideration. Stonewalling can lead to misunderstandings and resentment in relationships over time if not addressed.
It’s important to note that stonewalling is different from taking space to cool off during an argument. Taking space gives each person a chance to calm down before continuing the discussion whereas stonewalling completely stops any progress towards resolving the issue.
If you find yourself frequently stonewalled by someone else or even engaging in this behavior yourself consciously or unconsciously- it’s essential to address it head-on before it damages your relationship further.
The different types of stonewalling
Stonewalling is a defense mechanism where one person shuts down communication with another. It can be incredibly frustrating and hurtful to the person on the receiving end. There are several different types of stonewalling, each with its own unique characteristics.
One type of stonewalling is known as “the silent treatment.” This happens when someone completely stops communicating with their partner, often without any explanation or warning. The silence can last for hours, days, or even weeks.
Another type of stonewalling is when someone becomes defensive and refuses to listen to their partner’s concerns. They may become angry or dismissive when confronted and refuse to engage in constructive conversation.
Some people use sarcasm as a form of stonewalling. They may make snide remarks or belittle their partner instead of having an honest discussion about what’s bothering them.
Some people resort to physical withdrawal during arguments as a way to avoid dealing with conflict. They may leave the room abruptly or refuse to make eye contact during conversations.
Understanding the different types of stonewalling can help you recognize it in your own relationships and take steps towards addressing it effectively.
Why do people stonewall?
Stonewalling is a destructive communication pattern that can be distressing and frustrating for both parties involved. People stonewall for various reasons, which can range from feeling overwhelmed to being defensive.
One of the primary reasons why people resort to stonewalling is because they feel attacked or criticized by their partner. When an individual feels threatened or judged, he/she may choose to withdraw emotionally and shut down communication as a way of self-protection.
Another reason why people stonewall is due to underlying emotional issues such as anxiety, depression, or past trauma. These unresolved emotions can make it challenging for individuals to express themselves effectively and engage in healthy communication patterns with their partners.
Moreover, some individuals may use stonewalling as a form of punishment when they feel wronged by their partner. For example, if one person feels ignored or neglected, they might withhold affection or communication in return.
Regardless of the reason behind it, stonewalling only exacerbates conflicts and creates distance between partners. It’s important to identify the root cause of this behavior so that both parties can take steps towards creating healthier patterns of communication.
How to deal with stonewalling
Dealing with stonewalling can be a frustrating and challenging experience. However, there are some strategies that you can use to help address the problem.
Firstly, it’s important to recognize when someone is stonewalling you. This can involve shutting down communication or refusing to engage in conversation altogether. Once you have identified this behaviour, try to remain calm and patient as anger or frustration may only make the situation worse.
Next, try to approach the person who is stonewalling you in a non-confrontational way. You could say something like “I’ve noticed that we haven’t been communicating well lately” or “I feel like I’m not being heard.” This may encourage them to open up and start talking again.
It’s also important to listen actively when they do begin speaking again. Try not interrupting them and give them time express their thoughts fully without judgement.
If all else fails consider seeking professional help from a therapist who specializes in relationship counseling.
Remember that dealing with stonewalling takes patience and understanding but by employing these strategies over time, it’s possible for both parties involved in the situation can come out stronger on the other side of it.
Conclusion
Dealing with stonewalling can be a frustrating and challenging experience. It is important to remember that stonewalling is often a defense mechanism people use when they feel overwhelmed or unable to communicate effectively.
The first step in dealing with stonewalling is recognizing the behavior and understanding why it’s happening. Once you understand why someone may be stonewalling, you can take steps to address the underlying issues and work towards open communication.
It’s also essential to remain calm during these situations, even if it feels like the person isn’t listening or reacting at all. Remember that emotions are contagious, so staying calm will help de-escalate tension and prevent things from getting worse.
Don’t hesitate to seek outside help if needed. A professional therapist or counselor can provide valuable insights into how to deal with difficult conversations and manage conflict more effectively.
Dealing with stonewalling requires patience, empathy, and an understanding of how our own reactions impact others. By taking proactive steps towards better communication we can build healthier relationships that allow us to express ourselves freely without fear of judgement or shutdowns.
